lord-kitschener:

screw off, Taco, you shit in a box of gravel

(Source: mykingdomforapen, via primrose-granger)

softandcreamy:

real pressure is when your mum comes in and you have like 1.3 seconds to decide on the least dodgy tab to switch to

(Source: hentai1080p, via darrencrisscrosscreppychrist)

rowling:

dakotaaaa:

My 9 year old brother started reading Harry Potter, and he asked me, so earnestly, “Were the Dursley’s mean to Harry when he was little?” I hadn’t thought much about it before, and he seemed so upset that I totally lied to that little kid. “NO! Of course they weren’t.” 
But then I couldn’t get young Harry out of my head. There must have been a time before he was resigned to their neglect that he wanted their affection.

There will never be a time when I am not absolutely broken up over this.

rowling:

dakotaaaa:

My 9 year old brother started reading Harry Potter, and he asked me, so earnestly, “Were the Dursley’s mean to Harry when he was little?” I hadn’t thought much about it before, and he seemed so upset that I totally lied to that little kid. “NO! Of course they weren’t.” 

But then I couldn’t get young Harry out of my head. There must have been a time before he was resigned to their neglect that he wanted their affection.

There will never be a time when I am not absolutely broken up over this.

(Source: daaakota.deviantart.com, via thorarinsdottir)

roughkiss:

peevsie77:

gay-undertones:

gay-undertones:

So my sister’s out for the day and my sister’s room is completely covered in One Direction posters
So I thought “why not cut out 350 shrek faces

aND MAKE EVERYTHING SHREK”
I PRESENT TO YOU

ONE DIR”SHREK”TION

350 shrek faces

No face left uncovered





Now we wait


MAN DOWN MAN DOWN


This is a thing of beauty

It’s the dedication that makes this joke so funny.

roughkiss:

peevsie77:

gay-undertones:

gay-undertones:

So my sister’s out for the day and my sister’s room is completely covered in One Direction posters

So I thought “why not cut out 350 shrek faces

aND MAKE EVERYTHING SHREK”

I PRESENT TO YOU

ONE DIR”SHREK”TION

350 shrek faces

No face left uncovered

Now we wait

MAN DOWN MAN DOWN

This is a thing of beauty

It’s the dedication that makes this joke so funny.

(via lokidokeyartichoki)

Reblog if today is not your birthday.

themockingjayd12:

image

Merry Unbirthday, to you all!

Happy Unbirthday dear Tumblr nation

(via the3rdjp)

tacolol:

totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.


the caption makes this post

tacolol:

totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.

the caption makes this post

(Source: cali-cocaine, via darrencrisscrosscreppychrist)

Anonymous said: Hello jenna I have a problem and I need advice I've just been cheated on and dumped by a guy I really believed in. Now I don't know what to do with myself. Tips on moving forward? Or getting him back?

1.) don’t try to get him back you’re only going to keep getting hurt

3.) get rid of things that will remind you of him

2.) do something new. Yup, get yourself busy with activities maybe you never thought to try before. Choose at least one thing that will take up time out of your home (like trying a sport or joining a club or really anything you can set your mind to that will mix up your schedule and get you out of your house and with new people *remember try to socialize with these new people and make friends :) Also choose something to work at that you can do whenever you think of him, something like drawing, learning a new language, trying to sing the alphabet backwards (this is actually really entertaining lol) or writing)

3.) understand that it will take time and it’s going to hurt for a while, but you can get through this :)

queencrash:

ritornerai:

What if Gordon Ramsay voiced a GPS

"Great job, you missed the exit you fucking disgrace."

(Source: shingekinowinchester, via busybusybeee)

dasfreefree:

i couldn’t make this up even if i tried

dasfreefree:

i couldn’t make this up even if i tried

(via busybusybeee)